Im back.

It's been awhile since I posted an update from this blog. Actually, Ive longed forgotten I have this blog... 

It's refreshing to read how I poured what's in my mind and what I currently feel. I guess this is the universe way of telling me to go on and pour out what I feel through this blog. Because honestly, I am not alright. And I don't know why I cannot express it to people around me. Maybe because I was thinking that... they will never understand? or they will never listen? or they are busy with their own problems and struggles? or I just don't want to burden them with my negativity and petty feelings.

You know that feeling when you're surrounded with people yet you still feel alone?

And so you just wanna shut off and stay in your own world. 

Okay, this post will be all over the place because I just want to unload everything.

These thoughts and feelings has been inside me for awhile now. Ive been thinking of letting it out but for some reason I got so occupied and so I forgot to let it out. Ive been telling myself to go on write it on your blog but then I keep getting distracted with life's responsibilities and taking care of people around me.

Which makes me realize... 

When did I take care of myself? Since when did I take a break? 

Thats probably the reason why I cannot find the answer to the questions Ive keep on asking myself eversince 2024 entered....

What am I doing with my life? 

How do you love yourself?

I Think Im Fallin In Love...

Emotera has a confession to make...
Im fallen head over heels over this guy I just met. I dont know what's in him that I cant take him off my mind. Its like a moment not thinking of him would make my world stop turning. The next crazy thing is that I keep on staring on his Facebook profile picture. Scanning and starring at it. Hmmmm... Infact while I'm writing this now I'm starring at him at the same time. Looking at his pictures has been my habit lately as if I'm reading the story of his life without permission... Yes he is a distraction but at the same an inspiration. Seeing how he enjoy his life now and how far his dreams are still, inspire me to be at my best also. Its just sad that he doesn't notice me. And no I wont approach him and spill out what I feel inside.

Our little conversations. Turning into little sweet sensations. And they're only getting sweeter every time we're together. Wishing that goodbyes turn to never 'coz with you is where I always want to be... ♩♪♫♬ 

I don't know when our paths going to cross again but I do hope if we do get a chance to be together I hope we will have the chance to get to know each other. Although I know if he gets to know me and my life he'll the type who's going to run away. However, I'll take a chance who knows what might have been. This is really crazy! In that short time we have a conversation I even felt annoyed at him. He has this attitude that "whatever-im-not-interested!" and I also sense that he is the type that doesn't want a responsibility and commitment. Well, its understandable because I see he still has big dreams that he wants to achieve. I won't talk more about him  though because I know I'll drop hints if I will. :P (Let's just say you readers know him also. Good thing Facebook has no viewers history because if they do have, ill be damn caught alive. lol ) ^_^

Haiz... Love is so elusive when you are ready to accept it... when you accept that loving is also hurting.

Quote 153

Love someone not because they give you what you need. Instead, love them because they give you feelings you never tought you needed.

Quote 143

Silence is the best answer I can give to an issue. What the use of admitting or denying when in the first place... I am already judge!

Quote 133

Law of Karma:
Never try to play with other people around you. For you may never know that they play better than you.

Quote 105

More than friends but not lovers.
The same feeling but not one in heart.
Some say it's love some say it's a game.
A short time of happiness with a bitter end.
Both lost, all fail...
Because 'Mutual Understanding'(MU) is nothing but a fake fairy tale.

Quote 101

I can close my eyes from the things I don't want to see. But I can never close my heart to the feelings I don't want to feel.

Quote 93

Sometimes we let affection go unspoken. Sometimes we can't find words to tell our feelings, especially towards those we love best.

Quote 87

Do you know what's difficult to do? It is to share jokes with a person. While deep inside, what you really want is to share your feelings.

Quote 84

You can always close your eyes to things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to things you dont want to feel.

Quote75

Words are the only weightless things in this world that could actually make you feel heavy.

Quotes 59

When you say you're committed to someone. It doesn't necessarily mean your inlove with the person. Feelings are very short lived. you may be inlove with the person now but sometimes, you end up hating that person. Commitment is not all about mere feelings. Its about the need to be with the person. A need that says; no matter how bad the weather might become I'm willing to stay!

Quotes 14

Sometime, you just cant tell anybody how you really feel. Not because you don't know why. Not because you don't know your purpose... Not because you don't trust them. But because u can never really find the right words to make them understand.